Perhaps it's growing up as a traditional Southern girl, but I'm accustomed to manners overkill. While etiquette is important and warrants preservation, Southern ladies jump to the extreme. The Stepford effect. I've seen it in myself several times in my role as hostess--uncomfortable niceness. In some houses it's broaching the border of eerie, like overly sweet tea. And heaven forbid we say anything overtly negative! Better to adopt a pleasant tone, spread a buttery smile over your face, and fake it than address the situation as it truly is. Watch Steel Magnolias or Fried Green Tomatoes. You'll see.
No, utter honesty in the heat of emotion isn't a good goal, either. Some sort of balance is worth the practice, I think.